Question of the Day

Where in your life are you being stingy? What do you love to contribute to the world?

Stingy to me means holding back from something. Like, "my mom is stingy and won't let me have ice cream".. that sort of thing. I guess it could be associated with unwillingness though. I wouldn't say I'm very unwilling though... just not very willful... does that make sense? I need to learn how to be more willing of new situations and people and experiences. I know that seems broad but it's the truth. I'm stingy when it comes to putting myself out there and making a new friend or meeting a new guy. I need to accept myself and fully enjoy and take advantage of social situations I'm in. I love to contribute smiles to the world. I want to make people happy. I want to make myself happy. I hope I contribute some happiness to the world. That's why I'm such a goof sometimes, I like making people laugh, I like giving people something to enjoy. Maybe that's why I love to be on stage so much.

K

Issues

It's good having those few people who you can tell anything. You, abyss of the internet, are one of those people. When I used to literally write in a journal I loved the ability to say anything I wanted without consequence and here I think I can do the same. We'll see how this goes...

Over the past few days I've realized I have issues. I have this inability to harvest emotions like normal people do. I also have this inability to get over things. Things being when I have feelings for a person and never really have the chance to get over them because I spend every single day with them. Things also being that when reunited with said person feelings come back when I've tried pretty hard to get over said feelings. Those things annoy me. That's why I have issues.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because I had these feelings during the biggest change in my life. Maybe it's because I haven't found someone new. Maybe it's because I can't help it. Maybe it's because I'm really meant to be with this person. I'll try not to think about that last maybe, because if that were the case then things would be a lot easier, right? Yeah, that last maybe should be discarded. The sheer fact that I've noted it is cause for concern. Gosh I have issues.