Tuesday.

Where are you resisting being of service?

I'm resisting being of service to myself. I don't allow myself to be the person I want to be. I see my potential but don't act on it.

What are you saying yes to?

I'm accepting a lot more in terms of offers in my daily life. I say yes to going out for the night, yes to auditioning for a part in a show, yes to giving myself some time to relax and enjoy myself. In my improv class this semester we're working on accepting offers, and literally have to say yes to everything. I've realized it's harder to say yes than I'd imagined because it's just so easy to say no. Saying yes the past few weeks has offered me a lot more than saying no would have and I'm grateful for learning this maxim.

What are you grateful for today?

Music

Dance

Rest

Question of the Day

Where in your life are you being stingy? What do you love to contribute to the world?

Stingy to me means holding back from something. Like, "my mom is stingy and won't let me have ice cream".. that sort of thing. I guess it could be associated with unwillingness though. I wouldn't say I'm very unwilling though... just not very willful... does that make sense? I need to learn how to be more willing of new situations and people and experiences. I know that seems broad but it's the truth. I'm stingy when it comes to putting myself out there and making a new friend or meeting a new guy. I need to accept myself and fully enjoy and take advantage of social situations I'm in. I love to contribute smiles to the world. I want to make people happy. I want to make myself happy. I hope I contribute some happiness to the world. That's why I'm such a goof sometimes, I like making people laugh, I like giving people something to enjoy. Maybe that's why I love to be on stage so much.

K

Issues

It's good having those few people who you can tell anything. You, abyss of the internet, are one of those people. When I used to literally write in a journal I loved the ability to say anything I wanted without consequence and here I think I can do the same. We'll see how this goes...

Over the past few days I've realized I have issues. I have this inability to harvest emotions like normal people do. I also have this inability to get over things. Things being when I have feelings for a person and never really have the chance to get over them because I spend every single day with them. Things also being that when reunited with said person feelings come back when I've tried pretty hard to get over said feelings. Those things annoy me. That's why I have issues.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because I had these feelings during the biggest change in my life. Maybe it's because I haven't found someone new. Maybe it's because I can't help it. Maybe it's because I'm really meant to be with this person. I'll try not to think about that last maybe, because if that were the case then things would be a lot easier, right? Yeah, that last maybe should be discarded. The sheer fact that I've noted it is cause for concern. Gosh I have issues.

June 23rd

I know it's no longer June 23rd but whatever...

I just wanted to thank June 23rd for bringing us Jason Mraz!
And for allowing me to listen to all 9 hours of his music which I have on my itunes, in one day.

In the words of Mr.A-Z
"Life is too short to be small"

K

Nice Day

The sun was shining most of today and although I didn't set aside time to enjoy the nice weather, I do thank it for bringing along a nice day. It was a relief not having to dodge raindrops on my way in and out of my car, as I've grown accustomed to. Thanks climate change for bringing Jersey all this rain in June!

I woke up later than I wanted to this morning... well, this afternoon... but I still accomplished most of what I needed to get done. Father's Day gift (check), clean my room (check), do laundry (check), get my little sister's birthday present (che... well not really..). Today consisted on sleeping late, going to the mall, and enjoying a delicious dinner. All three of which are things I love to do (and might I say, do very well)!

Top three reasons today was awesome:
*drum roll*

1. So although I meant to buy this coloring book for my 5 year old sister's birthday which is this weekend, it turns out it has much more potential. Basically, I'm keeping it all for myself. Some people say "it's like stealing candy from a baby." But to me "it's like stealing creative supplies from a child." This awesome coloring book joins the list of countless crayons, markers, and gel pens I've borrowed from my younger siblings. However, I did buy this myself and never actually gave it to her... so I feel it's fine.



2. Found this dress at Rue 21 for $20! It was love at first sight and I just had to had to have it! I know it cost a lot more than it's probably worth... but I don't care. There are just certain things one needs in life... and I needed this dress!!!








3. When I got home from the mall my parents had already eaten dinner. But my stepdad had thought of me and, knowing I wouldn't be home, picked up my favorite treat from a local pizzaria. It's called a rice ball. But it's not just a normal rice ball. It's filled with meat and veggies and sauce and deliciousness!!!!! Needless to say, I enjoyed it very much as my dinner!

Peace, Love, Potter

Kristina

Top 10 Things I'm Thankful For

1. Living in a Democratic Country
2. Clean Water
3. The Internet
4. The ability to overcome oppression
5. Time
6. The power of ideas
7. Written Word
8. Artistic Expression
9. Freedom of Religion
10. Family... in all of it's forms

Love Love Love

Had a VERY long day today.
This late at night I'm not finding much happy. After waking up at 6am I helped run a summer orientation day at my University and didn't get home until the afternoon. More on that in a future post. Basically, I'm beat! Not that today wasn't rewarding, I do love being an Orientation Leader and helping new students get to know my school, but today was just... very long (as previously stated, i know, I'm short on originality tonight).

After I got home and ate dinner (and took a major power nap) I stopped over Heather's house for a few hours to watch a movie which was good times. We watched 50 First Dates which made me simultaneously disgruntled and happy. Happy because it's a funny movie that is really heart warming, classic romantic comedy, but disgruntled because, let's face it, I'm running on empty when it comes to a love life. I know that I can survive without a romantic interest, and I know I'm a strong independent woman and yadda yadda yadda... but sometimes I just think it would make me feel more complete to have a significant other. Movies like that always make me think about how alone I do feel sometimes. But then, when I think about it more, I know that at some point in my life I will get what I want. Right now I have no prospects, but things are always changing... for the better.

I'm trying to stay optimistic here!

Things

So the whole title of this blog dealio was supposed to be meaningful and what not.

(I don't plan on this entry being at all coherent... more like streams of consciousness.... just a warning... please don't judge me, I'm really not stupid!).

Anyway as I was saying... my blog title. To me it means there is always something brighter just around the corner. Something hidden behind all the crap that life throws at you. Something good just waiting to be found. In my life, and in the writings of this blog, I'm searching for that happiness. A lot of my journal entries talk about how depressed I am about something or how annoyed, unhappy, etc etc, that I am. I realized that I need a place to come to where I can document the good things in my life. All the little (and big) things that make me want to live my life. For example: If one day I have the most amazing tea at Starbucks, I may just come on here to let you all know ("you all" being no one right now since I have no subscribers... haha... but it's the internet so let's just say you all means the internet as a whole).

It's the small things in life that matter most. Those little moments that end up making your day. Here's to a swell summer where my happiness is just around the corner!

K

Sleepless for Obama

I probably wont be able to discuss all of my views about the speech, but I just wanted to at least touch on it a bit since I did feel strongly about it.

So, after posting my first blog last night I set my alarm to wake me up at 6am for the President's speech in Cairo. It wasn't until a few hours later that I glanced at my clock and saw that it was 5am! So, although I wanted sleep, waking up after an hour seemed really... unrealistic. I'm the kind of person that will sleep through an alarm if their mind decides to. Staying up was my best option and an hour later, morning dew shining on the grass and new sunlight beaming through the curtains, I sat down to watch Obama's speech in Cairo.

The world had it's eyes on Cairo this morning and criticism about the event will probably be flowing through newsstands for weeks to come. I spent some time looking over what people were saying about the speech, but I think I'll be sticking with my own opinions on this one. I thought, and still think, that the decision to travel East so soon in his Presidency has made Obama stand out to all of Islam. It was a brave move on his part, and a very smart one for America. Yeah, it was just a speech, and that's what a lot of the negative criticism is focusing on. It didn't instate any new policies or immediately bring about change. What it did do though was make America's view of the world more concrete to others. It discussed our common interests, religious beliefs, and morals. It may have been just words, but it's words and ideas that change the world. (At least that's what Dead Poets Society taught me.) All I'm saying is that he touched on everything that needed to be discussed and I as an American appreciate the open dialogue that it will create around the world.

The audience there reacted phenomenally to Obama... a BIG change from when his predecessor had a shoe thrown at him the last time he was making a similar presentation. It's not just a new President that's changing the world's view of America either, it's America itself. I'll always be somewhat of an ex-pat for a lot of reasons, but I am beginning to see the change that is happening in this country. We came together for change in the fall of 2008 and we'll come together for change as a nation and globally. That speech not only spoke about what has to happen in concern to Middle Eastern conflict, but has begun what I hope to be a new era for the world. One of global interest for unity, peace, and ultimately all people's happiness.

K

Something New

"It's the start of something new. It feels so right to be here with you." - High School Musical

I was posting a comment on Jason Mraz's blog today and ended up taking a fun tour though the labyrinth of blogspot. I ended up on my own personal page, which I completely forgot I ever created, and here I am typing up my first blog.

I'm not really one for typing. I've kept handwritten journals periodically since the age of 8 and although I've considered transferring over to an online blog, or Word text file, or something of the sort, I've never been fully capable of making the switch. For a few months during my Sophomore year of High School I did write entries in a little journal I had saved as a Word file, but that fell through. There's just something about putting pen to paper that feels good to me and I think I'd miss it too much if I was typing all the time. It took me years with computer access before I began to completely write school papers on the computer. Up until about a year ago I always wrote out drafts of papers before typing them later. But, I'm one for change, and up for anything, so here begins my first internet blog. (I often start sentences with "But," and I don't care what anyone ever tells me about it, I don't find anything wrong with it!)

So I've been tossed into summer pretty slowly this year. Although it's been "summer" for me for a while, it hasn't felt like summer up until recently. I finished up Uni classes a month ago and have been sleeping, working, eating, and occasionally having good times since then. Being back in my hometown isn't exactly my ideal place to be for the summer but it hasn't been too bad. I miss my school friends a lot but I do love having the time to see my friends here more often. I've even been spending time with family a lot more, which is new for me.

After London being home was weird. Actually, beyond weird would be a better description. So weird that although I've lived here my whole life I didn't feel like I had a life here at all. I knew I had great friends and a family that adored me, but the UK had become my home over those few months and it was hard to leave behind the life I had there. Living on campus in Glenside second semester made the transition of coming home a little better. I wasn't thrown back into New Jersey for an extended period of time yet, which was good for me. Now that I'm here for a few months straight it's odd fitting back into what used to be. It's like I grew into something new while I was away, something different, something bigger than I was before. And now, now I'm trying to squeeze my new self into the place where my old self resided. Imagine a size 2 pair of pants, and then going on vacation (Let's say a Cruise vacation... lots of new experiences there, and delicious food) and coming home a size 6 and trying to aqueeze into your pants. They're your pants. You love them and want them so much. Yet it just doesn't fit and even though you try, you know it 'aint happenin.

Anyway, I'll stop with the babling about me and change and whatever the hell I was meaning to say. I'm here for the summer and I'm planning on making the best of it. It not my favorite place on earth, but that doesn't mean I'll let my summer suck. I'm already planning on the next few months becoming a summer to certainly remember and I really can't wait for what the world has to offer me. I'll find my own adventures, create some miraculous memories, and maybe keep track on them on here.

Afterall, happiness IS just around the corner, isn't it?

K